kyizi (kyizi) wrote in lita_fics,

Sit! Heel! Bad Boy! (Lita/John, PG-13, 1/1 - but part of a series)

Sit! Heel! Bad Boy!
By Kyizi

The WWE and all related items do not belong to me; only the story is mine. No copyright infringement intended.

Rating: 12A/PG-13

Distribution: Please ask.

Pairings: Lita/John

Spoilers: All Lita storyline is fair game.

Feedback: Please, it makes me smile :)

Notes: Okay, so this is a one shot story in the aforementioned series (see notes to Her Lips Twitched - previous post). I mentioned that I wasn’t likely to write them in chronological order and I was right. This comes after Her Lips Twitched (which you don’t have to have read, but do it anyway!), but not directly after. There will be other fics in between…when I write them, that is.

This one shot is a response to cherrycokerocks’s challenge where Lita, after leaving the WWE, gets herself a golden retriever puppy and calls it Cena. John and Randy are in a park in Atlanta and they hear someone calling "Cena" and think it's John being called. What happens when they see a certain Redhead with a puppy?


Sit! Heel! Bad Boy!


“You suck, you know that, right?” John said, glaring at his friend.

“And you’re a whiny assed bitch, but do I ever complain?”

“All the damn time.”

Randy rolled his eyes. “Funny.”

“So what the hell are we doin’ here, anyways?” John asked, his eyes scanning the park. It was a nice park, lots of space, plenty of people, and even a play park at the other end for kids…but John was still clueless as to why the hell Orton had dragged him there.

“Because we’re meeting Trish.”

John smirked. “Yeah, ‘n’ when the blonde says ‘jump’, Orton says ‘yes, ma’am and can I look up your skirt while ya do?’” He moved out of the way as Randy took a swing at him. “Did I touch a nerve?”

“You’re a real jackass.”

“No,” he said with a smirk. “I am a-”

“Bad boy!”

The shout came from the far left and was so sharp and lout it caused them both to jump. Randy hit John on the arm and laughed.

“I couldn’t’ve said it better myself.”

They watched the woman and her dog a moment longer before John turned back to look at Randy. He was about to ask when, exactly, they were meeting Trish, but he barely got his mouth open before another shout interrupted.

“No, Cena!” the woman called and they both turned in confusion, John trying to figure out what he’d done wrong. The woman, however, wasn’t even looking at him, she was trying to catch her dog. “Cena, come here!”

John’s eyes widened. “What the-”

“Cena,” the woman cried out in exasperation. “Sit! Heel! Bad boy!”

John glared as Randy couldn’t seem to help himself…he almost fell over he was laughing so hard.

“Did she jus’ say what I think she jus’ said?”

There were tears streaming down Randy’s face as the woman continued to berate ‘Cena’. He couldn’t speak so he just nodded.

“It’s not funny, man.”

Randy was clutching at his sides.

“No! Cena! Bad boy, come here!”

John frowned. “That voice…” he said, watching the woman who was running towards him. Her face was covered by the lip of her baseball hat, but there was something about her that he just couldn’t place. And then it hit him…about the same time that the dog did.

“Fuck!” he fell on his back as the large, over-exuberant puppy stood on top of him and lapped at his face. “Get this thing off me!” he called to Randy, but the man was no use as he continued to laugh at his friend.

“No! Cena, stop it. Ce- Oh, my God.”

“Lita, will you get your damn dog off of me?”

There was a series of embarrassing moments where ‘Cena’ stepped in all the wrong places as Lita fumbled to get him off the wrestler. He raised his eyebrows at her as he looked up. She was bright red and clutching at the collar of the struggling dog. He smirked and stood up, clearing his throat in an effort get her to stop staring and actually say something.

When nothing was forthcoming, he grinned at her, stole her hat, and said, “Cena?”

This did get her moving. She snatched her hat back, holding it one hand and the dog collar in the other.

She glared at him, but there was a smile playing at her lips. “Oh, don’t look so smug, I lost a bet.”

“Sure ya did,” he teased.

Lita rolled her eyes. “It was Trish’s idea. She said it was appropriate.”

“Why?” Randy asked, finally beginning to control himself. “Because he pees on the furniture, licks himself, and follows you around like a lovesick puppy?”

“Fuck you.”

Lita wrinkled her brow. “Don’t be gross.”

John really hoped she was commenting on the first part of the comment and not at the thought that he might like her. He didn’t get the chance to ask and he wasn’t sure whether or not that was a good thing.

“No, it was appropriate because he’s cute,” John smiled, ignoring Randy’s mock gagging, “loyal, tries to protect me when he can, and he’s a friend for life.” She smiled, then remembered something. “Oh, and he keeps trying to hump me.”

John spluttered. “Hey! I’m standin’ right here!”

“I see that,” Lita replied, looking him in the eyes. There was a slight shyness creeping into her gaze and he suddenly felt uneasy and out of his depth. He always did with her. He decided now really wasn’t the time to point out that Trish was right on all points. And on that note…

“Hey, you said we was here to meet Trish,” he said, turning to face Randy.

“Oh, she’ll be here in a minute.” Lita said, tugging the dog closer to her. “Cena peed on her and she had to go change.”

“Will you shut up!” he said, hitting Randy on the head as the man began to laugh again. “It’s not funny.” But even Lita was laughing. A few moments later he smiled. Okay, it was pretty damn funny, even if he made a vow there and then to kill them if it was mentioned it in the presence of anyone else. Especially Shawn Michaels and Triple H; those guys would never let him hear the end of it.

"It's a golden retriever," he said, frowning. "I don't even merit somethin' wi' a bit of bite?"

“Oh.” She looked disappointed, but was clearly trying to cover it up. “I love these dogs," she said, looking away and scratching Cena behind the ears. "They're my favourite.”

“Mine, too,” he said and she beamed up at him.

“I know,” she said softly.

Randy rolled his eyes, but they both ignored him. John cleared his throat and shrugged. “I guess I jus’ figured if you was gonna name a dog after me, he wouldn’ be so…cuddly.” She chuckled and he smiled. "So, how are you?” he asked and she nodded, smiling slowly.

“I’m good. It’s…really good to see you.”

“Yeah, it’s great to see you, too.”

“Yeah,” Randy said, raising an eyebrow. “Because five phone calls a day just isn’t enough on top of the millions of text messages.”

They both glared at him and he smirked. “I think I see Trish, she’s looking lost. I’ll take ‘Cena’ and go get her,” he finished with a laugh. He took hold of the dog’s collar and started leading him away. A few moments later, there was a squeal from Trish as she was thrown over Randy’s shoulder as he played with the dog.

“You realise I’m never gonna hear the end o’ this, right?”

She laughed and he smiled at her. He loved to hear her laughter, it had been scarce during her last few months in the company and he never realised how much he’d missed it until he heard it.

“You’re a big boy, you’ll get over it.”

“Apparently, I’m also a bad boy,” he said, smirking and wagging his eyebrows. “What’s say we get Orton and Trish to babysit and I’ll introduce ya to my handcuffs.” He winked and she laughed again, smacking his arm. He caught hold of her wrist as she pulled back and Lita looked up at him, biting her lip. “I’ve really missed you,” he said softly.

“You said that already.”

“I’m sayin’ it again.”

“I’ve missed you, too, Johnny.”

He groaned. “I thought we’d agreed not to talk about that night again. Ever.”

She grinned wickedly and shrugged. “I didn’t agree to anything.”

“You know, Michaels still ha’n’t told what the hell you said to him.”

“He values his life.”

“Apparently not enough, ‘cause he ain’t talkin’.”

“Maybe one day I’ll tell you myself.”

“I think I’d like that,” he said, smiling. “I think I’d like that a lot.”



“I just wanted to say that-”

“Cena, no!”

John didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, instead he growled. Lita was already looking over her shoulder at the blonde Canadian who was chasing her dog back towards them.

“He peed on me, again!” she cried out and it was then that John spotted Randy lying on the grass laughing.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have t’ pay for naming that dog after me,” he said, tugging her closer and wrapping his free hand around her waist.

“Pay how?”

“For dinner,” he said with a wink. “And tha’s jus’ for starters.”

“Agreed,” she said, smirking. “You can pay for the main course and desert.”

He chuckled, before leaning closer. “Sweetheart, you’re desert”

She had barely opened her mouth to reply when they were both knocked to the floor and trampled by the dog and when he heard her laughing he couldn’t help himself from joining in. He groaned and lay back on the grass as he realised something. He let out a breath and scratched Cena behind the ears; he really was a lovesick puppy and the redhead lying next to him didn’t have a damn clue.

He might just have to do something about that.


The End


I had a blast writing this one!

Okay, as you can tell, I intend to write a reply to either revivingophelia’s tipsy challenge, or cherrycokerocks’s drunken challenge which will fall before this in the timeline. I don’t know which one I’ll use, or if I’ll ask them nicely if I can combine them! We’ll see.

Oh, and I’m working on the next chapter of Cabin Fever, but Lita will not cooperate! She’s getting all jealous and it’s annoying me! Also, will be working on Immune this weekend as well.

Hope you enjoyed. Oh, and I’m still looking for a name for the series, so please help with suggestions!

Edited because cherrycokerocks pointed out that golden retriever’s are John Cena’s favourite kind of dog.
Tags: lita/cena fic
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